You suddenly find that you can’t anymore. The last straw so to speak and then you explode, or meltdown or simply crumple up in a heap. How did this happen you wonder? And the real answer is slowly, drop by drop. Each frustration, sadness, disappointment, you name it, when you decide to suppress it – it doesn’t magically disappear – it gets stored and one day you are having a tantrum of note that would even put your kids to shame (or your friends kids if you don’t have any!).
I’ve often used the analogy of a pebbles in a river, each pebble by itself will barely cause a disturbance in the force (sorry being a star wars fan I had to go there!) however much like a beaver building their dam, enough pebbles will stop the flow.
Often at this point, when you have noticed something, we want to jump right in a fix it. Almost go from zero to hero – which at times can cause more failure and frustration as one needs practice to become an “expert”. So with that thought in mind and the willingness and determination not to store everything till you burst, come with me on a journey.
Lets focus of just showing up, forget about the hero nonsense for now – with enough practice that will come. Are you able to put yourself first for a moment and try the following growth work:
1. Are you aware of what your body does when you are suppressing something? Do you clench your jaw, your stomach, your pulse races? So the first task is for you to figure this out.
2. Great, now that you know what it is, be constantly looking out for it. When ever you become aware of this – this will be the call for action. The focus will be to not suppress it but to let it go.
3. And how? Well I give you creative freedom here. What will work best for you? Remember each situation is different? Is there something you need to say, do?
P.S. If you are only thinking of two options – shut up or say something – this is a wonderful opportunity for you to realise there are always more than 2 options. If you can’t think of a third find someone to discuss it through with and find the 3rd, 4th, 5th answer.
May you let go 🙂