Julia Fourie | Life Coach Cape Town
Life Coaching Tip: How To See What You Really Want
Julia Fourie, Life Coach, Cape Town
There is a little trick that I first came across a few years back that I would like to share with you and this beautiful quote is an impactful example of it.
We often repeatedly ask for something and use words such as “I want to feel better”; “I want to stop fighting”; “I want more money” and so on.
Pause a moment and reread what I have written but lets for a moment accept that anything you choose to ask for you will be able to receive.
Do you see what you have asked for if you use those words?
What you will be asking for with those words is the experiencing of “wanting it” not receiving it and you will naturally align your actions and thoughts to meet what you are asking of yourself. You might be thinking that this sounds a bit crazy – but stay with me a bit longer and lets see what we can get out of this.
Remember that most of our lives we are on auto-pilot but we can remember what we do and we tend to be sure of what to say, decisions to make, who we love – you get the idea. This means that there must be something going on to be able to allow us to quickly and unconsciously access our values, boundaries, feelings without having to consciously think about what we want to do.
And how do we set up this rule book, the navigation system, the programming if you want, for us to quickly access – well through our actions, thoughts and emotions. And this brings us back to the words we use – if we keep on asking to experience “wanting” – then it starts to make sense that we can’t ever get what we are asking for because then we won’t be able to experience “wanting” anymore as we will have it.
And that is the little bit of magic we can take out of what we have been reading. You are worthy of choosing your life, your experiences and in order to fulfil that take the time to think about what you are really choosing, what you really want to experience. Try to find the words to match what you are choosing and don’t be afraid to interrogate those words to be sure they align with what you want to experience.
So the next goal you have try playing around with what you are asking.
Try to change it from wanting the experience to having it. It will be a bit unusual at first but any new habit or skill is – remember the first time you tried to ride a bike, the first time you tried anything challenging – just keep at it and you will adjust.
How about we take this insight a step further and see how you can begin being your own “life coach”? Start with the following simple 5 steps:
1. Think of a goal you have. It could be health related, relationship
focus, work objective, financial or anything else.
2. State your intention with this goal without thinking about it too
much. In other words how you normally would of said it. For example, “I don’t want to be sick anymore”.
3. Reflect on what you have just stated. See the catch – I have just
asked to experience not wanting to be sick, so how can I move to being
healthy as it would be against what I want, so this will just take me
longer to achieve.
4. Based on what you have learnt above, lets change this. Here are some ideas:
4.1 I am choosing to be healthy and no longer sick.
4.2 I am healing. (This is at least a closer declaration to becoming
healthy versus staying sick).
5. Write down the final intention and use it often when speaking to
anyone. Declare your intention.
May your intentions be aligned 🙂